With my upcoming trip to HKG, I was reminded of something that I notice time and again when I meet visitors from other countries. Sometimes friends or overseas colleagues from work will come to Japan for a visit. For many it’s their first time and I’m often elected to take them around, give them a tour etc. There are generally 5 types of visitors:
Type 1 is interested in food and eating. This is the hardest for me since I’m not really into food like most people and I don’t remember the names of sushi or what all the Japanese dishes are made of.
Type 2 is interested in nightlife, clubbing etc. For these people I usually just point them in the direction of Roppongi or Kabuki-cho and let them go. I’ve done all that in my younger days and not into it anymore. Also, I hate the smell of coming home in the morning.
Type 3 is interested in traditional Japan. They want to go see temples and shrines and sumo and bonsai etc. This is OK and I usually learn a thing or two about Japanese culture from these people. Although I get bored real quick hanging around Shrines all day long.
Type 4 is interested in the city. This is an easy one because Tokyo is filled with lots of things to see on the street, weird buildings and shops, lots of neon light etc. I’m this type of person when I travel, which is not very often.
Type 5 is interested in shopping, anime, electronics, fashion, etc. This is also an easy one for me cause I have a lot of experience in this area and can generally tell someone the best place to buy whatever they are looking for.
Anyway, that’s not the point I was trying to make. No matter which “type” the visitors are, what always surprises me is how much people talk about their home country when they are here (or visiting another country). I might spend the entire day with someone on their only day in Japan and they will talk constantly about what it’s like back home. “Oh, in my country we don’t do that…” or “In my country, we eat this..” etc. I don’t think this is necessarily bad since I can learn alot about different cultures, and sometimes I perpetuate this behavior by asking a lot of questions. But even when I don’t most people will still do it. One Canadian friend did this all day long and I had to remind him several times that I was from Canada too.
Wouldn’t their energy be better spent focusing on what they’re experiencing around them rather than talking about their country? I guess talking about one’s own country is a way to bond in the same way 2 people talk about themselves in order to get to know each other. But I always feel that in some ways it comes across as not really paying attention which is kind of the same as not being interested. What do you think?
Often people talk out loud and have to contrast what they’re familiar with against what they’re observing. That’s how they do that.
It usually helps them understand and appreciate the differences in what they’re seeing. Of course, I’m presuming that you’re dealing with a thoughtful traveler.
If they have that “tone” in their voice, however, I dun think anyone would complain if you biffed them with one of those big white folding fans…
Roy, I wholeheartedly agree with you regarding people constantly talking “in my country this or that” while visiting other countries. I actually hate that shit. Why the hell would you be thinking about your country while doing sightseeing or trying to learn about other culture? The only reason I can think of is these are the type of people that need to constantly reassess to themselves that their country is fucking best and everywhere else sucks and so they travel around to confirm that and let everyone know.
Don’t even get me started on Germans coming to Spain and drinking German beer, eating white sausage and dancing to German music.
abraxis, I understand the thinking out loud to compare and contrast aspects and for the most part I don’t think most people do this on purpose to be rude so I don’t make a big deal about it. But if I catch myself doing this I try to stop and focus on enjoying my surroundings.
bart, you may be right that some people are doing this to reassess their insecurity about their country. Don’t let it get to you though. It’s their loss.
I had a mate visit me from my home country a while back and he insisted on talking about Simpson’s episodes during our walk around Kyoto’s temples. Funny looking back, but I prefer to focus on my surroundings :-)
If you’re in a new environment, you don’t know much about it so you have limited options for topics of conversation. If they know you’re not a native to the country, they probably feel it’s inappropriate to quiz you on what they’re seeing. They have to talk about something they know.
The natural thing to do is compare their country to what they see. It’s not that they’re not focusing on what is around them. They are. They just want to have a conversation while they do it and saying, “what’s that,” or “isn’t that interesting” all the time isn’t going to advance the discussion much.
I’m pretty sure that’s what brings about conversations about Simpsons episodes or their homes. If you want visitors to focus on Japan, the best thing to do is ask them questions about what they’re seeing which allows them to answer at length so they don’t feel compelled to find a path for the conversation which relates back to their home.
In general (and this is not a comment on Roy at all as I don’t know how he treats his visitors), people tend to be pretty poor at facilitating conversations and be rather self-centered in conducting a conversation. They want to do more of the talking and they want people to question them rather than being the questioner. Men are poorer at this than women (who are socialized to make others more comfortable). So, your visitors are going to talk about themselves unless you make it easier for them to do otherwise. It’s probably not worth the trouble unless it really annoys you that they talk about their home.
I think this has more to do with a social dynamic than a visitor thing.
I’m a 13:-p (1, 3, 4, 5) I agree with you, I don’t understand discussing your own country like that. I try my darnedest when I am in Tokyo to not even eat in any place we have back in the USA. In 5 weeks total there, I have failed only on 2 meals, both on my first trip, I think that’s a fairly good track record.
Why waste your limited time with thoughts of home? Bah!
As far as the ‘type’ is concerned - im pretty much all of them except the nightlife bit. I tried roppongi and kabuki cho and got pissed off at the torrent of pimps hassling you assuming that because you are a tourist, you HAVE to drown yourself in prostitutes!
I see what you mean about folks talking about their home countries. I darent.
Yeah - in england, gangs of antisocial teenagers roam the streets, litter and vandalism is everywhere, people have no manners etc… - great!
I am 1, 4, and 5. I like eating, fashion, and design so Tokyo is great for me!
When I am in Japan I will not visit any American or Western stores. Nothing like traveling half way around the world to see The Gap :( kinda defeats the purpose of visting
I don’t like it when travellers keep comparing with their hime countries and complianing about slow services, shop keepers who try to rip them off, AND demand they want to eat food they are familiar with. I wonder why these people don’t just stay home where they are happy with everything, nobody is trying to rip them off AND they can eat as much of the familiar food as they wish.
Isn’t travelling about exploration and adventure? What happened to their sense of curiosity?
Oh yeah, perhaps they travel to take snapshots they can brag to their friends back home, they flew 12 hrs to xxx and saw yyy.
Hi Roy, you forgot…
Type 6: Will talk about cars all day, love to drift Roadsters and cruising top down even on winter days. Will suddenly turn around on the streets of Tokyo to shout “look! roadster!!” spotting just another stock NA and not holding back to share their joy about this incident with anybody who’s just passing by ;)
@bart: We Germans tend to drink German beer in Spain (and elsewhere) because it just tastes much better… ;)
I think I have to tick “all of the above”.
What’s more annoying than “In my country…” is people who come back from overseas and say “Well, in Japan they..” etc.
Yes, unfortunately I am guilty of this :(