Went to see Jumper at a special premiere today. That’s the film where Anakin teleports around the world. It doesn’t start until March in Japan but a guy at work gave me the tickets cause he couldn’t go. I have to buy him lunch or something in exchange. But I told him that would depend on whether the movie was crap or not. Usually, these special premieres, or 試写会 shishakai as they call them, are held in auditoriums where the sound is really bad and the seats are falling apart, rather than in the regular theatres. Today’s viewing was at Kudanshita kaidan (the sound was bad and the seats were falling apart) which is not far from work but near one of those “not at all convenient to get to stations” where you have to change trains 3 or 4 times. Tickets to shishakai are often raffled off on the Internet and the people who come usually couldn’t care about the film, they just get to see something for free. The theatre was packed 100% with people who appeared to be more low brow and more obnoxious than the usual crowd. Or maybe I was just in a bad mood and everyone got on my nerves. But as an example there was this young dufus who had one of those open-mouthed clued out expressions on his face. He was wearing a big fuzzy hat which he took off, but then put it on again right before the film began. Like, duh? The guy behind him politely asked him to take it off and he was like “Ooooh I didn’t know!! Sorry” Some people are just amazing. And then there was a couple who came in early and started playing Tetris on their mobile phones as soon as they sat down. Not talking to each other, just completely focused on Tetris. For 30 minutes that’s all they did. I was watching them to see if they would continue their game after the movie began but they put them away once the lights went down. I wonder if they play their keitai games during sex too?

Anyways, the movie. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. I’m not going to go into any details and spoil the film for you, but there is one part where Hayden Christensen and the other guy, the kid who played Billy Elliot who’s all grown up now, are walking around in Tokyo talking to each other. They are in Shibuya and Hayden Christensen says something, cut to the other guy who’s suddenly in Ginza and then back to Hayden in Shibuya and so on. They’re literally jumping all over Tokyo even though they aren’t teleporting in the movie. I guess filmmakers think that all Tokyo streets look the same and it doesn’t make a difference but don’t they realize that this film is going to be seen by millions of Japanese people who are gonna know exactly where each shot was taken? This is so typical of hollywood. There’s another scene where they steal a Mercedes from the dealer in Shinbashi and then suddenly they’re driving thru Shinjuku, Akiba and over the Rainbow Bridge. Go figure. Well, it is a film about teleporting so I guess they can get away with it. The film is short, around 78 minutes, probably because they went overbudget filming all over the world. See it on DVD.

Recently, I’ve been smelling the smell of poo while sitting at my computer at home. It comes suddenly in an intense burst that is quite noticeable. And then disappears. The smell is that of poo, not flatulates, the solid stuff. But sometimes there will be a variant like stinky feet smell or body odor. It’s not a good smell like the smell of coconuts or apple pie or tatami mats. When it comes, I check my hands, armpits, feet, clothes, keyboard, keitai, under my desk etc in a effort to isolate the smell but there’s nothing. The doors and windows are closed so it can’t be coming from outside. It appears to be coming from directly in front of me, like from my keyboard or computer monitor.

This has been happening once or twice a day for the past 2 weeks and is driving me absolutely crazy. I’ve been trying to figure out this mystery but haven’t been able to come to any conclusions, however I do have some theories. Here they are:

1. Someone hid some poo in my computer case. An ex-girlfriend of mine once hid a really strong airfreshener behind a bookshelf in my apartment. It smelled like citrus constantly and it took me a while before I discovered I was sabotaged. I think she was giving me a subtle hint that she didn’t like the smell of my place. Anyways, citrus is better than poo.
2. There’s some kind of animal living and pooing in my office. Like a rat or beaver.
3. There’s some kind of sewage leak that’s seeping into the walls of my house near where my computer is located.
4. The smell is coming from some other-worldly source. You know how the devil is supposed to smell like fire and brimstone, like that except a poo demon, or something.
5. My brain is short-circuiting and sending me sensations from past experiences. Perhaps they are my first smell experiences as a baby? If so, why couldn’t they be more pleasant smells like a new car smell or first kiss smell?

I have reason to believe that it could very well be number 5 since today at work I experienced another wave of poo smell while sitting in front of my PC at the office. Very strange this is. At any rate, I’m sorry for throwing around the “p” word so liberally in this post. Hope I didn’t ruin your lunch or dinner.